Your mom’s a whore! 64!

It’s Super Bowl Sunday Bitches!

I am the resident Denver Broncos Babydoll Barista of Royal T! I single-handedly fight off the vicious predators who creep on the young unsuspecting girls of Royal T while making espresso masterpieces anyone would be wowed at! All in a day’s work for this crime fighting barista princess! Muhahaha!

I really do love making drinks though…there’s just something about it that I can’t get enough of.

But in all honesty, who cares if they’re (the Broncos) not playing today…I can just go back in time and relive the ’98 & ’99 victory! That’s right! Like I’d abandon my team just because they’re not playing this year. Pff whatever. Anyways it was a pretty cute Sunday. All the girls dressed up like cheerleaders today. Thank you H&M for making baseball tees that are cheerleader themed! Ugh H&M. Anyways it was adorable to see them all matched for the day.

So for those of you who don’t know we use the Pandora application on the cafe ipad to play the music for the whole cafe. Most days everyone has to deal with my obsession with 80s Pop Music and if they don’t like it then that’s too bad because I’m the King of the Bar and the ipad is under my reign of terror! They’ll listen to “Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go” The Extended Version as many times as I want them to. (I’m sorry Phoebe but that’s how things roll). But sometimes all two of the many employees at Royal T who seem to greatly despise 80s pop music are stuck working with me so sometimes I try to be nice and cut them some slack. No, that does not mean that I will listen to weird rap music or some country hippie shit. I said SOME slack not I’m giving up my country for my people shit. So I picked the next best option…the Michael Jackson channel! Phoebe likes Michael Jackson so I was like hey why not. And we all know Pandora, along with programs like Netflix, use algorithms to pick songs that a person would like depending on what they have already listened to and this is what Pandora came up with:

that if I like Michael Jackson that I would also like the “Overture” from The Phantom of the Opera. My question is how the fuck did it know? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera. Touché Pandora…touché.

On a different note though, everyone who knows me knows that I’m a huge car geek. So much so that I’m constantly seen talking to my own car talking about cars to anyone around. I usually have dinner once a week with my bestest car buddy Jack but we went to a Clippers game earlier this week so no dinner. Boo. AND he’s going to be gone for a while. Lame. I guess I’ll just have to go back to sitting at the local park by my house telling whatever pigeon will listen to me about the new LED light craze that has been going around. Ew no, why would I feed them? I’m not crazy or anything. I don’t care if Chinese people think it’s good luck or not. No thank you. But since I have you here reading my blog I might as well tell you my frustration of the day.

Really Dodge? Really? LED’s were so 2+ years ago and the only people who know how to do it right is Audi. And those circular LED lights only look decent on the new corvettes that have them. What are you trying to do? The old Dodge Avenger lights looked just fine. It makes the car look very unflattering and of low quality. What guy in their right mind would drive one of those? Even the Dodge lettering on the back is so unflattering. It adds nothing to a plain surface. What happened to the good old Dodge symbol? Can people not tell that it’s a Dodge unless it fuckin says “DODGE” on the back? Not to mention the lights on the trunk scream “CHEAP!”. We can’t all be Mercedes-Benz now can we when it comes to trunk/rear center brake lights. The new Avenger looks like the ugly unwanted child of a Ford Focus and a Honda Civic. The Avenger is the sister of the Charger that they should’ve kept locked up in the basement. Who would spend any kind of money on that? Why not buy an Avenger from a decent year with a decent design? Not to mention the grill is horrendous, among other things. I think the best year so far is the 2006 Dodge Avenger.

Look how classy the whole feel of the car is? You can just see yourself driving through deserted freeways at night enjoying the illuminated skyscraper scenery of Downtown LA. Well at least I can. That was a good year…But I don’t want to leave anyone on a sour note so here’s a beauty that I saw at the gym on my way to work out.

Oh yeah…and I worked out at the gym today. I love working out! I’ve been feeling a lot healthier lately. Yay!

But here you go…just like I promised.

Such a beauty…

Audi KNOWS what they’re doing when it comes to cars. This brand new Audi A7 was the most gorgeous shade of dark green I have ever seen on a car. Darker than the Jaguar racing green and a lot less shiny metallic than the colors you see on American cars. Everything is so well thought out and the attention to detail on this car is beyond anything anyone will see on other cars in the market right now. Audi is always ahead of their time when it comes to tail light design and I just get such a rush from tracking their style progression throughout the years. Not a thing is out of place. I could talk about this car for hours but I don’t know if anyone would really be that interested. I’ll just leave it at this, a lot of Californians are so caught up with buying a Porsche and Beamer for name’s sake that they forget what automobiles are all about. What happened to caring about look, performance and efficiency? (No I am not talking about that saving gas with higher MPG shit, I’m a purist). I’m just saying, Audi isn’t a name that should be ignored when it comes to considering what cars to buy next.

I guess that’s it for right now. Thanks for reading!

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