Tag Archives: ron artest

7 games really?!

How can this end up with a 7 game suspension?

If you look at Ron Artest’s face it looks like he didn’t even know that Harden was there. He was just happy with his awesome play and reacted accordingly.

So what does this mean? Not only does he not get to finish the regular season if the Lakers somehow lose in the first round against the Nuggets the suspension will be good till the next season.

What the bloody hell?

Yeah he deserves a couple games of suspension without pay but 7 seems a bit excessive to me.

Come on…he’s bipolar, cut him some slack!

But it’s Artest, he’s no stranger to the flagrant foul…

Still better than Dennis Rodman’s 11 game suspension. Hahaha.

I’m sure the Lakers will be fine now that Kobe is back in the game.

And the Hawks beat the Clippers!

Blake Griffin made 36 points and Chris Paul had 34 but IT STILL WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH TO BEAT THE HAWKS!

You know why? Because the Hawks had 4 players scoring in the double digits!

The Hawks had an overall better shooting percentage over the Clippers tonight.

And the Heat and the Celtics are going at it!

I was watching the first half at work and the Celtics were having trouble scoring ANY points but now they’re leading by 6!

They’re having a very low scoring game where the Thunder and the Kings are scoring like crazy!

But Lebron, Wade and Bosh aren’t playing today and Allen, Garnett, Rondo and Pietrus are out for the Celtics.

Bench  vs Bench! Haha

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The Googly eyed big bosses of the NBA

This post is dedicated to SportyMcSports.

So I’m here today to do some research as to why there are an overwhelming number of googly eyed or bug eyed players in the NBA. Does it help them succeed? Does it help them bring all the boys to the yard? Who knows? One thing I do know is that before I can go any further with this study that it is important to define what it is that I mean when I say googly eyed so what better place to get a definition than from Urban Dictionary?

There were several different definitions but I thought the one that served our purpose best was this one:

Googly Eyed – Human eyes that protrude from the skull in a manner similar to a frog or a fish. This gives the freakish human an increased field of view, double that of a normal person. This strange feature often results in severe rejection by the opposite sex.

Example: My roomate has repulsive googly eyes; I get scared when I see them shine in the dark.
Dwyane Wade
What sparked this interest in googly eyed players in the NBA? This picture of Dwyane Wade:

 Dwyane Wade…where do I start? I mean all around an amazing player. MVP of the Finals, great PPG average although be it a little too many fouls but otherwise an exceptional NBA star. Maybe those bug eyes do help?

1 Finals MVP Award 2006

1 NBA All Star Game MVP 2010

And some medals from the Olympics

Lead the Heat to their FIRST NBA Championship

I mean after watching this episode I think Wade may have his OWN obsession with EYES. I got really excited when I started watching it because I thought he could play the piano but…yeah…

Even the shirt he’s wearing in the video has weird eyes to it. Wade’s subconscious coming out?

Wait…did THIS surgery make him MORE googly eyed? Is that even possible?

That way he can see EVEN more of EVERYTHING? Right? That’s how it works right?

I don’t know about the “rejection by the opposite sex” based on the sole fact that we are talking about NBA players here. I’m sure even Luke Walton has his groupie days. EW…EW…god I hope not though.

Although, D-Wade’s (estranged) wife has had a tendency of being a little…off? Not only was she arrested but now she’s suing D-Wade’s girlfriend? Weird.

In my opinion, Gabrielle Union is MUCH prettier (and younger) than Siohvaughn Wade anyways.

I rather have her instead of…

her. Plus this bitch is seriously crazy. I accidentally came upon an article titled “Siohvaughn’s 9th Divorce Lawyer Quits”. Uh…is that even possible? Really? I feel bad for those kids, that’s whats up.

 His bug eyes missed with Siohvaughn but at least they caught sight of Gabrielle. I wonder if that has anything to do with his Lasik eye surgery…Hmmm…you never know! That’s 1 out of 2 for Wade. 50% success rate. Sounds about right.

Next.

Tim Duncan

4 time NBA Champion

2 time NBA MVP

3 time NBA Finals MVP

This man has gone it DOWN! He was the Round 1 Pick 1 of 1997 and he’s had an incredible career since then!

But why is it when I type in ‘Tim Duncan eye’ on Google Images I just get pictures of Steve Nash? Weird.

But no one has more googly bug eyes than Duncan, I mean look at the dude. Every picture I see of him is him with some outrageous expression and eyes about to pop out of their sockets…either dad or he looks like a sad dog.

Dude, Call me!

Remember that time when Raymond Felton poked Duncan in the eye? Man was he hurting! He couldn’t even BEGIN to stop Amare!

Hmmm but Duncan rarely gets fouls so I guess we can cross that out as being related to the googly eyed syndrome.

And Tim Duncan’s wife Amy is pretty cute. They’re college sweethearts which is cool.

How’d that last lines of Kanye’s Gold Digger go?

“I know his dude’s balling but yeah that’s nice
And they gone keep calling and trying
But you stay right girl
But when you get on he leave your ass for a white girl”

Hahaha.

Next.

Steve Nash

Even with one eye you can tell that they’re googly as hell.

No Championship rings but 2 consecutive Finals MVP awards

BUT it takes certain skills to make shots with only one eye.

Some of the Suns players try to do the same with an eye patch but fail. It’s scary looking at Steve Nash when he’s talking though…his eyes…it’s like they have a mind of their own.

Even does a layup over Duncan at the Playoffs with his eye injury. He’s a fighter all right.

But Steve Nash’s wife was not only ugly but a dirty ass hoe too. You KNOW that ain’t your baby when he’s not even the same color as you…It doesn’t matter because she has a man jaw anyways. She looks like a horse.

Did someone ask for a talking horse? Mister Ed is ALL the talking horse this girl needs.

What a weird coincidence…His wife cheated on him with Jason Richardson (his former teammate) and now Nash’s new girlfriend is named Brittany Richardson. Small world I guess. (No relation though…aw shucks!) Go Steve Nash for snagging someone half his age.

Maybe there IS something to this theory. I see some things coming together. Now if only his googly eye could help him finally win one for the Suns my research would be near perfection! But alas…that is not the case…at least not at the rate the Suns are moving at now.

Who are we at now? Sporty said Kobe has googly eyes but I don’t know about that…I mean he does sometimes and other times he really doesn’t. Plus I’ve already written about him once today. One mention a day is enough for Kobe.

Next.

Tracy McGrady aka T-Mac!

Look at those big lazy puppy dog eyes…

No MVP awards or Championship rings but this dude is an all time high scorer. Come on, who doesn’t love T-Mac? Is the leading scorer, among all active players, for post season scoring and he’s 4th of all time. Not bad… yeah he couldn’t lead his teams out of the first round of playoffs but he’s a lot better than most of what the NBA is made up off *cough* Luke Walton *cough* …but he’s getting old too.

I’m so happy I got to see him a few weeks back.

I found a clip of T-Mac poking Nicolas Batum in the eye…hahaha

But the sad thing is coach Larry Drew of the Hawks is cutting back his playing time as the games go on. Poor T-Mac. Sometimes he’s only playing about 4 minutes a game. This is TMAC we’re talking about. Maybe he could’ve helped the Hawks win that game I went to against the Clippers… even he said it was a bunch of shit.

I found a great clip of him making a game ending 3 pointer and at the end of the clip they have a close up of his eyes…he’s just owning that shit right there!

And apparently his wife is on Basketball Wives. I never watch that shit so I have no idea. Who gives a fuck about some dimpy NBA wives? I have no idea where some people come up with these show ideas.

Meh. What can I say? They have the same…eyes? Hahaha. I think he could’ve done better to be honest.

Dwight Howard sometimes gets it but usually he’s normal…

Next.

Ron Artest
I AM NOT CALLING HIM METTA WORLD PEACE kthnx.

Do I have to talk about him? Can’t we just trade him somewhere…far far away? Please?

I mean he’s a cool eye…I’ve seen him do stand up, I’m seen him give personal friends free tickets to Lakers games and stuff but ugh…I want the Lakers to actually win another Championship if at all possible.

I couldn’t find anything on his condition, no not being bipolar…I found TONS of stuff on that, his other condition (his eyes) so I’m just going to entertain you guys with this video of Jimmy Kimmel playing a prank on Artest.

Obviously it’s not THAT good of a prank because then otherwise Jimmy Kimmel would be dead.

1 NBA Championship ring (that he sold and auctioned off for charity) and

1 Defensive Player of the Year Award

No way, this bitch is on Basketball Wives too? Ugh…do I HAVE to finish writing this?

He could’ve done better. SHE HAS A TATTOO OF HIS NAME ON HER BOOB? UGH. This woman has NO CLASS.

But we all know Ron Ron gets around…and around…

Wait…Ron Artest was on Dancing with the Stars? Dear LORD! What is going ON with the world? And yes I’ve been living under a giant boulder for a good portion of my life…I’m so tramatized now. I don’t even want to KNOW what any of those shows are about. I’m good with just sticking to the good old NBA.

I give up. I can not look at these ugly broads another second more.

My conclusion? That there might be a link between NBA awesomeness and Googly Eyes BUT that the wide range of view the eyes provide do not, in the long run, help in the process of choosing a significant other. If anything the results are variably mixed.

I think I might have some serious nightmares from all of the googly eyed clips I’ve gone through tonight…

Not a crime to kill an NBA All Star Zombie during the apocalypse! Although…that WOULD be quite challenging to accomplish. Maybe I can wait for the Resident Evil crows to come peck everyone’s eyes out so it won’t be as creepy. I wonder if I could outrun an NBA Zombie…probably not. Thank God for baseball bats to the knee right? I think I’d be doomed without it.

And maybe I’ll cover some other folks but for tonight…this is as far as I’m willing to go. I can only deal with so many fugly chicks in one night when I’m not being paid.

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Pre All Star: East & West Matchups

Two big games to look forward to today!

Lakers vs Thunder

&

Knicks vs Heat

West vs West & East vs East. You’re not going to want to miss this!

Starting off with the Lakers vs Thunder, the clash of talent between old and new will be a great show. And since it’s right before the All Stars it’s a great chance to see how the teams play against each other. Tonight’s game will show if they are pumped up and ready to go at it with the East! 2 All Stars against 2 All Stars. They can also use today to size each other up, understand how each player moves and operates, how to best support each other. For those of you who didn’t know this is the first game of the season in which these two will be going head to head. Strange isn’t it? Since some teams have already gone up against each other anywhere from 3-4 times. This season’s a bit off but it makes it that much more intense and nerve wracking to watch and follow. Both the Lakers and the Thunder have won their last game up to this one so you know that they’re in it to win it! Being the #1 & #5 team on the Western Conference this also gives us an inside look as to what the Playoffs MIGHT look like. There’s still a lot of time for a shift in rank but when you think of the possibility of these two teams competing again when the time comes, it’s more likely than not so both teams could learn a lot from today.

So what needs to happen today for the Lakers to win? Kobe is going to need to put aside all of the trade drama bullshit and get back to playing a GOOD game. For the leading scorer in the NBA, Kobe tanked last night with 15 points. I was actually afraid that we might lose to Dallas. How unsettling is that? Me constantly checking the Ipad at work talking to myself about the game while I make drinks for customers. Most of them must have thought I was crazy. Gasol, on the other hand, is playing better than ever. Do you know why? Because he plays TO FUCKIN PLAY. I’ll forgive the 5 Turnovers he had last night because Kobe had 7. 7!?! Do you believe that? Thank God Bynum and Fisher stepped up yesterday.

The Lakers also need to be on top of Durant and Westbrook. Well, not literally but enough so they aren’t able to shoot. We can’t have them scoring like they have been if the Lakers want to win. Hayward and Collison may still be out from todays game so that’ll work to our advantage. And they need to watch out for Perkins when he’s on the floor. He’s been having a high number of rebounds every night and the one thing the Lakers do not need is Perkins being there to rebound every ball be it offensive or defensive. And we need to not play Ron Artest and just trade him somewhere. I’m sorry. And the only thing with playing Barnes or Morris is that they play well when it comes down to it but they get WAY too many Personal Fouls for comfort with the short amount of time they’re on the court. Just saying.

Maybe I’ll write about the Heats vs Knicks game later…I feel like that’s the one game everyone is already focusing on anyways. OMG A JEREMY LIN ROOKIE CARD THAT SOMEONE BOUGHT FOR $1000 SOLD FOR $21,800. FUCK people are crazy.

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Trade Deadlines

Because Mark and I started talking about possible trades and what the Lakers were going to do if anything so I thought it would be a good opportunity to see what other people think is going to happen.

So the Lakers either need a Point Guard or a Small Forward. (More a Point Guard, but yeah).

The Lakers need to make this happen! We still have our $9 million trade exception we got from trading Lamar Odom. So we scared off DH (Center), we REALLY don’t want Steve Nash. Best possible option? That’s right!

Trading with the Celtics

Scary to think of but it’d be perfect. Who’s our top choice? Rajon Rondo.

The Lakers are also considering Johnny Flynn and Ramon Sessions.

Other options are getting Allen Iverson back into the NBA (he has been aching for some cash and I’d LOVE to see him on the Lakers, for my own personal reasons) and Gilbert Arenas (meh).

I love you Derek Fisher but the Lakers need to get rid of you AND Ron Artest. Sad but true. The Lakers might end up trading Pau Gasol as well.

What might go down:

Lakers trading Pau Gasol & Darius Morris & Mavericks #1 pick FOR Celtics Rajon Rondo and Jermaine O’ Neal

Lakers trading Pau Gasol & Matt Barnes & Darius Morris & Lakers #1 pick & Mavericks #1 pick FOR Celtics Rajon Rondo and Paul Pierce
Along with trading the Lakers TPE for Jermaine O’ Neal

Lakers trading Pau Gasol FOR Timberwolves Derrick Williams & Future Draft Picks

Lakers giving up cash & future draft picks FOR Timberwolves Michael Beasley

Lakers giving up either Pau Gasol or Andrew Bynum FOR Nets Deron Williams

Let’s just make something awesome happen! Come on Lakers!

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