Tag Archives: tracy mcgrady

The Googly eyed big bosses of the NBA

This post is dedicated to SportyMcSports.

So I’m here today to do some research as to why there are an overwhelming number of googly eyed or bug eyed players in the NBA. Does it help them succeed? Does it help them bring all the boys to the yard? Who knows? One thing I do know is that before I can go any further with this study that it is important to define what it is that I mean when I say googly eyed so what better place to get a definition than from Urban Dictionary?

There were several different definitions but I thought the one that served our purpose best was this one:

Googly Eyed – Human eyes that protrude from the skull in a manner similar to a frog or a fish. This gives the freakish human an increased field of view, double that of a normal person. This strange feature often results in severe rejection by the opposite sex.

Example: My roomate has repulsive googly eyes; I get scared when I see them shine in the dark.
Dwyane Wade
What sparked this interest in googly eyed players in the NBA? This picture of Dwyane Wade:

 Dwyane Wade…where do I start? I mean all around an amazing player. MVP of the Finals, great PPG average although be it a little too many fouls but otherwise an exceptional NBA star. Maybe those bug eyes do help?

1 Finals MVP Award 2006

1 NBA All Star Game MVP 2010

And some medals from the Olympics

Lead the Heat to their FIRST NBA Championship

I mean after watching this episode I think Wade may have his OWN obsession with EYES. I got really excited when I started watching it because I thought he could play the piano but…yeah…

Even the shirt he’s wearing in the video has weird eyes to it. Wade’s subconscious coming out?

Wait…did THIS surgery make him MORE googly eyed? Is that even possible?

That way he can see EVEN more of EVERYTHING? Right? That’s how it works right?

I don’t know about the “rejection by the opposite sex” based on the sole fact that we are talking about NBA players here. I’m sure even Luke Walton has his groupie days. EW…EW…god I hope not though.

Although, D-Wade’s (estranged) wife has had a tendency of being a little…off? Not only was she arrested but now she’s suing D-Wade’s girlfriend? Weird.

In my opinion, Gabrielle Union is MUCH prettier (and younger) than Siohvaughn Wade anyways.

I rather have her instead of…

her. Plus this bitch is seriously crazy. I accidentally came upon an article titled “Siohvaughn’s 9th Divorce Lawyer Quits”. Uh…is that even possible? Really? I feel bad for those kids, that’s whats up.

 His bug eyes missed with Siohvaughn but at least they caught sight of Gabrielle. I wonder if that has anything to do with his Lasik eye surgery…Hmmm…you never know! That’s 1 out of 2 for Wade. 50% success rate. Sounds about right.

Next.

Tim Duncan

4 time NBA Champion

2 time NBA MVP

3 time NBA Finals MVP

This man has gone it DOWN! He was the Round 1 Pick 1 of 1997 and he’s had an incredible career since then!

But why is it when I type in ‘Tim Duncan eye’ on Google Images I just get pictures of Steve Nash? Weird.

But no one has more googly bug eyes than Duncan, I mean look at the dude. Every picture I see of him is him with some outrageous expression and eyes about to pop out of their sockets…either dad or he looks like a sad dog.

Dude, Call me!

Remember that time when Raymond Felton poked Duncan in the eye? Man was he hurting! He couldn’t even BEGIN to stop Amare!

Hmmm but Duncan rarely gets fouls so I guess we can cross that out as being related to the googly eyed syndrome.

And Tim Duncan’s wife Amy is pretty cute. They’re college sweethearts which is cool.

How’d that last lines of Kanye’s Gold Digger go?

“I know his dude’s balling but yeah that’s nice
And they gone keep calling and trying
But you stay right girl
But when you get on he leave your ass for a white girl”

Hahaha.

Next.

Steve Nash

Even with one eye you can tell that they’re googly as hell.

No Championship rings but 2 consecutive Finals MVP awards

BUT it takes certain skills to make shots with only one eye.

Some of the Suns players try to do the same with an eye patch but fail. It’s scary looking at Steve Nash when he’s talking though…his eyes…it’s like they have a mind of their own.

Even does a layup over Duncan at the Playoffs with his eye injury. He’s a fighter all right.

But Steve Nash’s wife was not only ugly but a dirty ass hoe too. You KNOW that ain’t your baby when he’s not even the same color as you…It doesn’t matter because she has a man jaw anyways. She looks like a horse.

Did someone ask for a talking horse? Mister Ed is ALL the talking horse this girl needs.

What a weird coincidence…His wife cheated on him with Jason Richardson (his former teammate) and now Nash’s new girlfriend is named Brittany Richardson. Small world I guess. (No relation though…aw shucks!) Go Steve Nash for snagging someone half his age.

Maybe there IS something to this theory. I see some things coming together. Now if only his googly eye could help him finally win one for the Suns my research would be near perfection! But alas…that is not the case…at least not at the rate the Suns are moving at now.

Who are we at now? Sporty said Kobe has googly eyes but I don’t know about that…I mean he does sometimes and other times he really doesn’t. Plus I’ve already written about him once today. One mention a day is enough for Kobe.

Next.

Tracy McGrady aka T-Mac!

Look at those big lazy puppy dog eyes…

No MVP awards or Championship rings but this dude is an all time high scorer. Come on, who doesn’t love T-Mac? Is the leading scorer, among all active players, for post season scoring and he’s 4th of all time. Not bad… yeah he couldn’t lead his teams out of the first round of playoffs but he’s a lot better than most of what the NBA is made up off *cough* Luke Walton *cough* …but he’s getting old too.

I’m so happy I got to see him a few weeks back.

I found a clip of T-Mac poking Nicolas Batum in the eye…hahaha

But the sad thing is coach Larry Drew of the Hawks is cutting back his playing time as the games go on. Poor T-Mac. Sometimes he’s only playing about 4 minutes a game. This is TMAC we’re talking about. Maybe he could’ve helped the Hawks win that game I went to against the Clippers… even he said it was a bunch of shit.

I found a great clip of him making a game ending 3 pointer and at the end of the clip they have a close up of his eyes…he’s just owning that shit right there!

And apparently his wife is on Basketball Wives. I never watch that shit so I have no idea. Who gives a fuck about some dimpy NBA wives? I have no idea where some people come up with these show ideas.

Meh. What can I say? They have the same…eyes? Hahaha. I think he could’ve done better to be honest.

Dwight Howard sometimes gets it but usually he’s normal…

Next.

Ron Artest
I AM NOT CALLING HIM METTA WORLD PEACE kthnx.

Do I have to talk about him? Can’t we just trade him somewhere…far far away? Please?

I mean he’s a cool eye…I’ve seen him do stand up, I’m seen him give personal friends free tickets to Lakers games and stuff but ugh…I want the Lakers to actually win another Championship if at all possible.

I couldn’t find anything on his condition, no not being bipolar…I found TONS of stuff on that, his other condition (his eyes) so I’m just going to entertain you guys with this video of Jimmy Kimmel playing a prank on Artest.

Obviously it’s not THAT good of a prank because then otherwise Jimmy Kimmel would be dead.

1 NBA Championship ring (that he sold and auctioned off for charity) and

1 Defensive Player of the Year Award

No way, this bitch is on Basketball Wives too? Ugh…do I HAVE to finish writing this?

He could’ve done better. SHE HAS A TATTOO OF HIS NAME ON HER BOOB? UGH. This woman has NO CLASS.

But we all know Ron Ron gets around…and around…

Wait…Ron Artest was on Dancing with the Stars? Dear LORD! What is going ON with the world? And yes I’ve been living under a giant boulder for a good portion of my life…I’m so tramatized now. I don’t even want to KNOW what any of those shows are about. I’m good with just sticking to the good old NBA.

I give up. I can not look at these ugly broads another second more.

My conclusion? That there might be a link between NBA awesomeness and Googly Eyes BUT that the wide range of view the eyes provide do not, in the long run, help in the process of choosing a significant other. If anything the results are variably mixed.

I think I might have some serious nightmares from all of the googly eyed clips I’ve gone through tonight…

Not a crime to kill an NBA All Star Zombie during the apocalypse! Although…that WOULD be quite challenging to accomplish. Maybe I can wait for the Resident Evil crows to come peck everyone’s eyes out so it won’t be as creepy. I wonder if I could outrun an NBA Zombie…probably not. Thank God for baseball bats to the knee right? I think I’d be doomed without it.

And maybe I’ll cover some other folks but for tonight…this is as far as I’m willing to go. I can only deal with so many fugly chicks in one night when I’m not being paid.

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Love for Josh Smith & Blake Griffin’s Airball free throws!

So we had my grandfather’s wake yesterday and another service along with the burial today and it was heartbreaking for all of us. So much so that my uncle forgot about his son’s YMCA basketball playoff game that by the time I reminded him it was too late to make it home and to the game. My cousin was depressed and my uncle told me to take him somewhere so I looked at who was playing a home game tonight and since the Lakers were away playing the New Orleans Hornets (who they beat) I decided we could go watch the Clippers because they were set to play the Hawks and I love Josh Smith.

When I looked up tickets they started at $1 each…seriously $1. So I upgraded our seats and got better for $4 per person. Haha. I got to take all 4 of my cousins to the game. I only usually take Matthew because the girls never showed much interest in sports but it was nice I could share the experience with all of them today.

So we bought tickets and made our way down to the Staples Center!

Boy was today special. Who thought rooting for the Hawks and Josh Smith would get me so much shit…ESPECIALLY when I’m with 4 little kids. Hahaha. We all laughed about it though.

They had a little Call of Duty Elite commercial going on. Which made me happy. Hahaha. I thought they were going to give away a Call of Duty jeep and I got all excited!…but they didn’t. Oh well.

When they introduced the Atlanta Hawks they played Star Wars music which was hilarious. I was like THIS JUST MAKES ME LIKE THEM EVEN MORE! YEAH! I mean…I still wish Mike Bibby was on the Hawks but we can’t win EVERYTHING right?

And like in every sports event in America they have to sing the national anthem before anyone does anything serious so tonight they brought out the kids from Hollywood High to sing the anthem and do you know what? It was the BEST FUCKIN ANTHEM EVER! You know why? Because when the camera man was slowly making his way around the encircled group to get a shot of each of their angelic singing faces all you could see in the back was crotch shot after crotch shot of each of the Clipper Spirits (Cheerleaders). They’re all ugly in the face so this was the best angle he was getting of them all night! Hahaha.

Aww. I had fans hatin’ on me ALL NIGHT LONG! These B.O. ridden, band wagon jumping jerks from douche city just kept cheering in my face and getting up after each play so I did the same exact thing. Every time the Hawks made a play I’d just stick it in their fuckin faces and you know what? The Clippers missed SO MANY free throws today it was embarrassing.

Sure, Blake Griffin can dunk but he has to be one of the WORST free throw shooters out there. I have proof!

Air ball free throws

Not to mention we all know this is a frequent occurrence. We all know today wasn’t the first time. Because I have proof of that too!

The 4 boys behind me kept dissing the Hawks but they kept asking me if I could buy them a beer because they’re underaged.

Uh….yeah right. I just laughed in their face.

They were saying that the Clippers are better than the Lakers but I had to remind them that the Clippers are actually FIFTH count it, 5th (1-2-3-4-5th) in the Western Conference. AND that they’ve lost 2 games in a row. That’s right! I know my stats! What’s up bitches? Come bring it?

Told them I was a Laker fan for like and that I hated the Clippers. And of course their reply was that I hated the “NEW LA TEAM” but I pointed to the Championship flags and retired jerseys and asked them to point out which of THOSE were Clipper related? EXACTLY! THAT’S RIGHT! NONE OF THOSE ARE BITCHES!

NAME ONE PLAYER ON THE CLIPPERS FROM 5 YEARS AGO?

CAN’T DO IT HUH? BECAUSE YOU’RE JUST A BANDWAGON JUMPER LIKE EVERYONE FUCKING ELSE!

I’m a fan of basketball. I couldn’t even diss Mo Williams when he played tonight (He played amazingly by the way) because I’ve loved him EVER since he was on the Cavaliers. How can I jump teams now? One that has a racist money hungry owner who doesn’t give TWO SHITS about his fans. Yeah no thanks, I’ll stick with my Lakers.

Oh what? Did someone just BLOCK THE FUCK out of your fast break? Oh well I’m sorry…

I got to see Josh Smith, Joe Johnson, Kirk Hinrich AND TMac. I had an AWESOME day.

This one dude in front of me who was on his phone the whole time turns around and says,

“If you hate the Clippers so much, why did you PAY to see them?”

And I looked him RIGHT in the face and said,

“I paid $2 for this seat to watch Josh Smith”. 

And he didn’t turn back around the whole game.

And whenever the guys behind me would say,

“Fuck that n****, who is Josh Smith? Who is Joe Johnson?”

I’d just respond with,

“They’re still better than you. I don’t see YOU playing in the NBA”.

OH OH OH OH OH

AND the same guy was like WATCH BLAKE GRIFFIN MAKE THESE FREE THROWS! …BOTH AIRBALLS! TAKE THAT SUCKA!

The two guys in front of me were nice, true Clippers fans from way back when. We talked and he asked why I hated them and I told him I was a fan of the game and that I wasn’t a fan of how the Clippers were run and he understood. We talked sports some more and he kept saying, “This girl knows her NBA” but by the end of it they were asking for my number but I told them I was getting married. Hahaha.

Trying to date someone who hates your team? Hahahaha.

My cousins had a fun time watching me yell at EVERYBODY! The other Hawks fans were so quiet. Every once in a while they would say something but not often.

It’s okay Hawks. Still #6 in the East! And Josh Smith probably isn’t going to be traded by tomorrow but I doubt he’ll be there during the off season.

All in all a good day for a rowdy fan of basketball. FEELS GOOD!

OH And here’s my FUN FACT for the day!

The last time the Clippers beat the Hawks was Feb 7 2009. Yup. 3 years. SUCK ON THAT  CLIPPER BITCHES!

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